Ask and ye shan't receive...

You know how I'm always telling people to leave comments on my blog?  Well turns out I had that feature disabled for anyone who wasn't a registered blogspot user.  My bad.  Thanks PT for pointing it out.  Now you are free to post all the Nigerian ponzi scheme spam you wish.

In other ask and ye shall receive news, I've thought of a few things people can send me since many of you are generously offering and I'm stubbornly stonewalling...until now.  (EJ, I didn't forget to e-mail you, just haven't had a minute to concentrate on it.  I will soon.)  Behold my Afghanistan wish list:

-  A decent shower.  Ok ok fine.
-  Office decorations.  My office is a small square wooden closet.  The most prominent feature is a door to another small square wooden closet.  Some ideas: posters, pictures (of yourselves, preferably), flip calendars of the Dilbert or other varieties, and other work-appropriate stuff.  Think original Picasso.  Less good ideas: office gnomes, "Inspiration" posters, or anything with real value.
-  Special K, Protein Plus.  Just send it and keep your comments to yourself.
-  Coffee maker.  This one is for Gunny, I don't drink coffee.  I also know nothing about coffee or its various makers.  I would guess that actual coffee and probably filters or something would go with it.  Cream and sugar.
-  Sugar-free candy.  This one is for the Chaplain.
-  Mustard.  Preferably in little packets.  This one is for the people of Afghanistan, who apparently have outlawed the stuff.  Sage advice for Afghans: more mustard seed, less poppy seed.
-  Home-made anything.
-  Magazines.  Those who know me know my interests are quite limited...to, say, aeronautics, astronomy, sociology, psychology, history, current events, foreign policy, technology, cars, sports, music, nature, wildlife...you get the idea.  Mags that don't interest me will surely interest those around me.  Mags with nudity will get me sent home, so thanks for the thought, but no thanks.
-  Books: not room to store too many so I'll probably send them back when I'm done.  But anything you enjoyed I'll hopefully enjoy.

Ok that should get people started.  Don't say I never did anything for you.

 Special Fidelis

When it rains, it muds

Right now, I'm sequestered in the "morale tent" because it is pouring outside. It started this afternoon while we were outside playing catch. From one second to the next I couldn't see the guy 50 feet away that I was throwing to. The wind kicked up, the dust was swirling and mixing with the rain, and suddenly it was mudding. Not muddin', which my southern compadres know involves an open field and a truck, but mudding.

After a few minutes the rain had cleared the crud from the air and we went outside and took pictures of one another getting drenched (it felt great). A little while later it let up, leaving behind a not-so-fresh odor. That was maybe 7 hours ago. Then, just a few minutes ago, it came back again, out of nowhere, pouring like spring showers. I think "morale tent" is kind of a funny name - a morale McDonalds would probably be more effective - but being dry in here right now is certainly lifting my morale. Also I found free jolly ranchers.

I realize it must seem lame for me to be blogging about rain, but around here it's a big deal. When the first downpour hit this afternoon, Gunny mused out loud - wonder if we left the windows down in the truck. Who cares, we simultaneously realized: when the rain stops it'll dry out in an hour from the heat. Hope we were right. Leave it to us to get mold to grow in the desert.

Man, it is hurricaning outside.

In other news, I went down to the flight line today and met with some more Brits. They're really great - friendly, relaxed, and...British. I think you know what I mean. After that we had Indian food. On the American part of the base - nada. On the British part, an Indian place, a Pizza Hut (I know!) and some nice coffee shops. Granted, this is not Pizza Hut like back home - it's a guy hanging out the back of a semi-trailer serving personal pan pizzas and calling them larges. But still, it's nice to have. The Indian food, also out of a trailer, was good, and spicy. I quenched my thirst with Pepsi Light, which is like Diet Pepsi only...nope, that's pretty much it. Just diet Pepsi with a weird name.

Then I went next door to the British PX and bought office supplies. Why? I'll tell you an interesting story. We've got generally two types of cargo we bring over from the states - stuff we need soon and stuff we need eventually. Soon = by plane. Eventually = by boat. Well some Einstein at higher decided we'd messed up, because we put some "critical" gear, like extreme cold weather stuff, on the slow boat. So they swapped it. Now we've got all the cold-weather boots you could ask for, just in time for the thousand degree summer. We're trying to use the boots in place of computers and telephones but that doesn't work as well as you might think. And that's why I was buying rubber bands and post-it notes at the British PX.

Well the rain has stopped and I need to be getting to bed. Wish I could upload the pic of me in the rain (I've got a ****-eating grin on) but the camera is back at the office. I'll put it up next time. For now, adios.

Can you hear me now?

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun...

...but it's sinking.

Well for the moment it's rising, which means I've got a little of what Pink Floyd was singing about to spend giving you a proper update on my life the past few weeks.

As you know from earlier blather, we left Miramar on the evening of 22 March. We flew through Bangor, Maine and Shannon, Ireland. We then had a several day layover in a certain central Asian country that's been in the news lately. I took some pictures there but they're slow to upload so here's just one for now:

The Hindu Kush, from the north

Then we flew into Afghanistan in a USAF C-17.

On the C-17. Pax in front, cargo in the rear

I took some pictures out the tiny porthole as we began initial descent.

The Afghan mountains from above, initial descent

Then we landed. Here's a pic of me a few days after we got here:

Moi, dans "le merde"

Here are some plusses(sessesses?) and minusses to life in Afghanistan:

Plus: It's a dry heat.
Minus: It's a very dry heat.

Plus: Free food.

Minus: No beer.

Plus: See a new place.

Minus: It's the moon.

Some more serious collected thoughts from the past few weeks.

On the plane ride over: I've left home. If you know me you know I grew up all over, and there's no one place that is unambiguously my home town. Home, to me, is a place where the people you care about, and who care about you, are at most a plane ride away. You may not see them as often as you like, but the potential is there. It's like what my friends who are based in Hawaii say about living there: just knowing that you don't have the option to get in the car and drive somewhere else makes you a little nuts. No options for us out here for a while.

On leaving Maine: goodbye, America.

On leaving Ireland: goodbye, free world.

On landing in Afghanistan: finally. It seems strange to admit it, but I feel like everything I've done with my life so far has been preparing me for this experience. True, I'm not a grunt, I'm a staff officer. I'll leave the wire a number of times but I probably won't go into "Indian country." But I'm in a war and I spend about 14 hours a day, 7 days a week stressing over ways to protect Marines from people just a few kilometers away who are trying to do them (and the locals) harm. This, finally, feels like real responsibility. Finally.

I'm also scared. As part of my job I have to know what the threats are. I get the reports. I get glimpses of what the enemy is planning. Anyone reading the paper knows what he's trying to do and how he's going to try it - I just get little additional fragments of evidence to confirm that yes, he's really trying to do it, to carry out an attack of some kind, somewhere. I know what is within my power to do to make an attack more difficult to carry out, less likely to succeed. But there's only so much you can do in a day, only so fast you can make a machine, even the Marine Corps, move, only so much money. So I'm racing to get as much done in as many places with as few assets as possible, before the enemy strikes somewhere in some way that I hadn't gotten around to mitigating yet. If he does, despite knowing that I did all I could, I'll have to live with that for the rest of my life. Since I'm here for a year, that eventuality seems likely. So that scares me.

I'm not working alone of course. I'm not the only one assigned this task, I don't want anyone to get that impression. But there aren't that many of us (how many I can't say of course). I spoke to another one today who was working on one particular issue having to do with TCNs - Third Country Nationals. I could hear in her voice how she was strenuously trying to accomplish her goal on that issue. You can only do so much and move so fast, but you find yourself staying just an hour later or getting to work just an hour earlier, grabbing a sandwich to go instead of sitting at the chow hall, etc. - not because you think an hour will make a difference, but just because you feel a twinge of guilt whenever you're not at your computer or walking the wire or brainstorming with a counterpart or in some other way working the problem.

Luckily, we can handle it. Personally, I'm blessed with an optimistic outlook - nothing gets me down for long - and of course we've all had some truly exceptional training and trainers. I just say that so that close friends and family reading this don't worry. I'm describing it in great detail for you but it's not all that bad - we work long days on stressful problems but other than that we lead fairly normal, if dust-covered, lives.

You may be wondering (or not) why I've rambled on so much on some fairly personal feelings. I think it must be because I'm sitting in a chapel after having attended Shabbat services, albeit just me and the Rabbi (I know I said at the top it was sunrise, I started this post earlier today). Despite the low turnout it was great to hear and sing those familiar manginot (melodies). Also I'm using my own computer, on which I finally got wifi today, and that in itself is a religious experience after a month of virtually no Internet.

Well I've run out of stuff to ramble about. My guess is that most people are more interested in what it's like here in this country, in this war, with these people, than in my whining about the stresses of my job. So I'll try to give some more concrete descriptions and, where possible, pictures, in future posts. For now, good night.

Me on the left, saluting the colors
during the MEF RIP/TOA ceremony

Time starts flying...

Almost two weeks in Afghanistan, and things are going great. In the first ten days I've already briefed the chief of staff (full bird col) and the CG (one star general) and both thought I did well. The CG said "you're kinda smart for a lieutenant, huh." I did not reply with "you're kind smart for a general, huh sir." Shoulda.
Only have a second on the computer, so just wanted to let everyone know that despite a very fast pace of operations and some very long days, I'm doing well, in good spirits, and not counting down the days just yet. Each day is so busy and so long it seems like a week, yet looking back it seems like we landed just yesterday.
My job is satisfying despite the political challenges of being on the CG's staff. In just the few days since our unit took over for the last one (called a RIPTOA - relief in place/transition of authority), we've already made some changes in my area that the Marines around us can see, and which hopefully make them feel a little more secure. Lots more to come in that department.
I still don't have wifi, which means I still don't really use my own personal computer, which is why no pics yet. I promise they're coming.
For now, gotta run.
Go Yanks.

I'm ok

It's been a few days since anyone heard from me, including replying to your e-mails. We've been under a comm blackout; more than that I can't say. But I'm OK, and I'll post my latest random thoughts and hopefully some pics soon.

I wonder where the half-hour goes

It's been...not very long at all since my last update - a few days. But it feels like longer. I'm in country now; got here a few days ago. Generally I think this place is what you'd expect. The base I'm on is enormous, and without a means of transportation (yet) one of the challenges is the amount of walking you do. I've probably been averaging 8 miles a day, not counting my morning run. Actually, the problem is less the amount than the surface you walk on, which is usually either a fine dust/dirt or gravel made of fist-sized rocks. Not good for the weak-ankled. But even though I'm sore, I'm already starting to get over that as my body adjusts.

Ok enough complaining. The best way to describe this place is probably to give you "a day in the life"...at least so far.

I get up really early, even by Marine Corps standards. I'm usually out running by about 4 AM. I run 3-4 miles around a nearby construction site. Then I head back to my room to pick up my shower stuff. I live, currently, with 9 other guys in a room no larger than 400 sq ft. But I'm never there except to sleep so it's not too bad, and it should get better once the units we're replacing head home (I'm excited for them - they've worked hard and deserve a break).

Showering involves a treck to the shower tent or trailer (former = hot water, little privacy; latter = cold water, better privacy). Then back to the room, dress and head to chow. While the heads (bathrooms) and showers leave something to be desired, the chow hall is great. Good selection, food generally edible or better, fresh veggies at the salad bar, decent amount of healthy options.

From there it's off to work. So far this has involved a lot of trecking around, as I've said, since I don't have regular phone or e-mail access (yet) and my job involves coordinating with lots of other units. I try to wrap up my day around 5 or 6 pm and track down some of my friends for dinner. They're about to take over 24 hour ops at their jobs (in shifts of course), which makes me appreciate my freedom of movement and ability to set my own agenda that much more. I'm thinking a two-hour siesta after lunch every day.

Finally, I commence rack ops around 8 or 9 pm, and start it all over again the next day. In country, every day is Monday.

As far as my job, I can't share much in detail but I definitely have enough to keep me busy. I'll be here for at least the next few weeks getting to know my areas of responsibility on base, and then branch out to other places to take a look at what they've got going on. I know this is comically vague but even things that might be OK to share in person are better left off the Internet, obviously.

Well I think that's about it. I've got very limited Internet and phone access for at least the next few weeks, so it will be a while before I can post pictures, etc. If you want to send me stuff, I've posted my address previously, but there isn't too much I need. The PX (base convenience store type thing) is like a trip to a medieval bazaar, but I can generally find what I need, with a few augments sent by mail from my family. Since I don't have Facebook access though, if you want to be in touch, e-mail or this blog are the way to go (leftofrightsite.blogspot.com for those reading this on FB).

Oh, if you're wondering about the title to this post: it's currently 7:20 AM local, and 10:50 PM Eastern. Why Afghan time is a half-hour off from the rest of the world is a mystery to me, but it's a fact that seems full of potential as a metaphor.

Is this where the 1/2 hour goes?

Short layover in the past

My friends know that I've never really been a fan of country music. Today for the first time I learned to appreciate it.

I'm writing this while sitting in a big bar straight out of Heartbreak Ridge, on a U.S. military base in one of the 'stans that seems still to still be nursing a post-Soviet hangover. Somehow, surrounded by members of all the US military services as well as some foreign troops (most notably, Poles), "Should Have Been A Cowboy" and even "All My Exes Live in Texas" put me in a distinctly and comfortingly American mood.

---

We left San Diego many hours ago - I have no idea how many and with all the time zone changes I'm not really sure how many days have passed. About two, I think, since then it was Monday there and now it's Wednesday here. We flew overnight and arrived in Bangor, ME, where no matter the time of day or night there are always volunteers to greet troops - outbound or inbound. We knew they'd be there, and we weren't looking forward to that awkward moment when someone says "thanks for your service" and you say...you're welcome? No problem? If you knew what I do in the Marine Corps, you'd find someone more worthy to thank?

That last sentiment is one felt by pretty much every Marine I know, no matter their job, and it's one that, I think, causes many of us to avoid as much as possible those conversations with civilians. This time, I'm glad we didn't. It felt good to know that someone got up early in the morning just to be there to shake my hand.

Then we stepped off U.S soil for the last time for a while, and landed a few hours later in Shannon, Ireland. Join the Marine Corps, I heard someone say, and see the world...'s airport terminals. I had the best Smithwick's I've ever had, and flirted with a cute Irish blonde who thought I was "21 or maybe 22." Paid in Euros.

Then back on the plane, a DC-10 (pics to follow in a later post) crammed full of Marines including my once and future unit, MASS-3 (nice to be flying with friends). Seven hours later a day had passed, and we landed, again in the local morning, at our current location, which out of an overabundance of caution I'm not specifying online.

So in all, a long flight to nowhere, interesting only because I've got nothing better to do right now than make it so. Hope you enjoyed my first deployment ranting - many more to follow.