The Aftermath

Considering it wasn't just a party but a drinking game party, I'm more than a little impressed. I must confess that some time between rolling in the keg and setting up the beer pong table, I found the time to put the insurance adjuster on speed dial. Should have just invited him to the party.

But the real reason for this entry, other than the fact that it took me a grand total of 2 days to break my rule #1 (luckily, my attorneys inserted rule #2), is that you guys, my friends/adoring fans, are very funny people. Someone drew a heart with the word 'beer' in it on the kings-cup rules. There are multiple, inexplicable references to Thomas hearting me (among other people) on my whiteboard. Considering he was the last person to leave my party, I would like to state for the record that I do not recall confessing my feelings about him to anyone, and I was not so drunk I'd forget (I guess it could be unrequited love). In fact, it's gotta be worth at least two points that I even remember who the last person to leave my party was. There is also a lot more written and drawn on my whiteboard, not all of it PG-13, including some graffiti that looks like it was scribbled by a mildly retarded chimpanzee with a lazy eye. Improbably, all the graffiti was actually confined to an erasable surface. I mean what are the odds.

My favorite, though, is the to-do pad on my fridge, which was helpfully filled in by an unknown conglomeration of geniuses. It reads:

To Do List:

• The Whites
• Cap'n Crunch and the Crunch Berries
• The Darks (Editor's note: ??)
• Light menorah
• Recycle
• Dance off
• J-Date (Editors note: I'd like to know who was responsible for this one)
• Erase marker board
• Spin dreidle and sing Hannukah song
• Watch Yankees lose
• Listen to Cranberries
• Defrost, clean and eat tilapia
• Call Danielle
• Download more Aerosmith
• Buy more pretzels for next year's party
• Save Darfur
• Go to Burger King for a BK Broiler
• RSVP Hillary mixer
• Humpty Dance
• Color
• Buy Ace of Base again

I'm not really sure about that last one, but overall, a very respectable list. Ambitious but achievable. A good balance of personal goals, public service initiatives and frozen fish.

Well that's all the time we have. If you need me, I'll be in my room with the shades drawn and the tylenol very close by. Just knock - but not too loud.

oh one more thing: people leave beer bottles in the strangest places.