Happy Birthday, America

It's the 4th of July, 2011, which means it's been exactly a year since I sat in the dust, my back to a tarp-covered fence that was shading me from the mid-day Afghan sun, and described a little of what it felt like to celebrate the 4th in country.  It has not, of course, been a year since I got back (it's been 115 days and this morning), but it sometimes feels like it.  This year my tuchis is parked not in some moon dust but on my plush microfiber couch, and instead of feeling sweaty and grimy I'm freshly showered (TMI?) and enjoying a typically temperate southern California breeze through my balcony door.  A year, a world, a lifetime - pick your favorite measure of distance, and that's the difference between this 4th and the last.

So as you can tell, it's good to be back.  That answers the most FAQ I get : "how's it feel to be back?"  Others include:

1. What's it like over there?
2. What do you think will happen in Afghanistan?
3. So what do you do now that you're back?
4. What's next for you?

Knowing me, that's enough questions for four separate posts.  I'll work backwards and see how far I get.

4.  What's next for me is probably another deployment to Afghanistan, exact date TBD but likely in the spring.  In the military, you can't be sure what's going to happen until after it happens, but I'll keep you posted.

3.  Meanwhile, now that I'm back I will do some training exercises...next one is three weeks in Yuma, AZ (where it was 116º this weekend!).  Back at the squadron between exercises, I'm the company intel officer, safety officer, occasional supply officer, get-this-distributed-before-the-meeting officer...I call myself the EEO - Everything Else Officer.  But it sounds like more work than it is, and I'm almost always home by 5PM if not earlier (work starts at 0730 so don't worry taxpayer, you're still getting your money's worth).

 As I said it has been 115 days, so what else have I been doing?

Well when I first got back I took it easy for a few days but within a week, I think, I was starting to PT hard to try to burn off some winter flubber and get ready for the PFT (physical fitness test).  It paid off, as I got a personal best of 20 pull-ups (max score = 20), 100 sit-ups in 1 min 20 sec (max score = 2 min or less) and ran the 3-mile in 20:56 (max score = 18 min or less so forget about that). That may all sound ok, and I was proud of my performance, but I still have a ways to go to meet my goals.  Next test is the CFT - combat fitness test:

CFT: the most painful 2 to 3 minutes of your life

It hurts just to watch.

Anyway, I've also done some traveling, though as most of you know my big road trip that I'd been planning for a year had to be ixnayed.  The reason was that I got in a small car accident (no one hurt or anything) and it took too long to get my car back from the shop.  Nonetheless, I got to spend Passover at my dad's with my uncle and fam, and a truly great time was had by all.  Normally I would post a pic or two here but I don't know what happened to mine...!  VM, do you have any?  AH, did you take any?  If so I want copies.

Shortly after that trip - by plane - I got my car back from the shop (as I told someone at the time, it was like having a girlfriend in the hospital.  I checked on her daily).  Then my youngest brother came for a visit, and we tore up the state of Arizona.  In fact, I have a ton of pics from that trip to share, so that'll probably fill the rest of this post...questions 2 and 1 will have to wait for next time.

So.  We drove out to Sedona, AZ, one of my favorite cities, and spent a week out there leading up to our hike in the Grand Canyon.

Dune-buggying...

 ...Sedona dirt made me a red-head.

Sgt Strike A. Pose

inexplicably puzzled

Arizona: indescribable

Mission Improbable

Scarlet Cowboy

"Feygeles?"  "No, we're just merry."

transportation

 COB, day 1

eh...what's up, doc?

Lake Pleasant, AZ.  It was.

COB day 2

Days 3 we were at the rim of the Grand Canyon, and days 4 and 5 were spent hiking into it via the Grand View Trail to a spot called Horseshoe Mesa, camping out overnight, and hiking back out the next day.

On the way

The Grand Canyon.  It is.

 The view from my sunglasses.

Nice shot, E.

A model of the canyon showing our route.

In the pic above, taken from the Grand View trail head, you can see all the way to our destination, Horseshoe Mesa.  If you view it full size, you'll see I added four dots.  The red is the end of the trail, one of the two ends of the horsehoe.  The blue is roughly where we camped out.  The green is where we finally found water after some exciting (failed) attempts, and the yellow I'll explain in a minute.

Starting out

1,216 ft down...just getting started

Don't slip!

toilet paper tuna - Israeli delicacy

some desert flowers

 another desert flower

Along the way we took a little detour to see some old caves.  One of us was too chickensh*t to go more than a few yards in.  The other is pictured below:

To get to the caves we had to scale some pretty gnarly cliffs.  That's where the yellow dot comes in...that's where the cliffs are.  Here are some pics:

Good thing you had that rope.

After the caves, we resumed our trek...

 Incredible views

 remains of an old miners' kitchen

 HUH?

Almost there...

 we made it!

The other end of the horseshoe

My best attempt at a collage of pics to show the view from the Mesa. 

And here's another attempt to capture it.  Nothing really can.

Cool...

...calm...

...and terrified.

Just realized we're both wearing our unit t-shirts.  What a bunch of motards.

And it was evening, and it was morning, day the fourth.

After eating carrots for their water content and dreaming all night of falling off cliffs, we woke up the next morning juuuust about ready to find some H2O.  How hard was it to find?

But eventually...

Mayim!!!

B'sason!!

 What we hiked down in our search for agua...

 ...and what we now had to hike back up just to get back to the Mesa.

 

Leaving the Mesa

What goes down must come up...

 Resting on the way

there.

~3000 vertical feet in 3 hours 11 minutes. 

The next day was Shabbat, so we reflected on the miracle of our survival.  Sunday was the road trip back to the coast, and Monday we unwound as any two elite Jewish warfighters would...

...by shooting Yassir Arafat.

Maybe with two guns I'll hit him.

So.  That's kind of a long answer to #3. Stay tuned for more later!

 Happy 235th, America.

Pinch me

Three days ago, I got home.  Even better, I'm pretty sure it's real this time, not like the dream I had maybe a month ago which seemed every bit as real as this until I woke up in Afghanistan with a month still to go.  That was...unpleasant.  Hope it doesn't happen again.

So I'm home, after 95 hours and 30 minutes of travel time, door to door.  After 8,551 hours (356 long days, and change) total time away.  After watching some 18 different wing units or rotations head to the passenger terminal and begin their journey home, it was finally my turn.  (Well actually, it turns out it was the SecDef's turn, so we deplaned after two hours of waiting, and waited another 10 or so before we flew out.)

Of course, everyone's asking "how's it feel to be back."  It feels...great.  I'm euphoric.  Ecstatic.  But not just.  I've had many moments where I had to stop what I was doing and try to convince myself that I'm really here now, and not there.  So disbelief has been one feeling, too.  Also, rediscovery.  I lived in my apartment for a total of about 6 or 7 weeks before deploying.  I finished unpacking the last box the day before I left for the 'stan.  I even had to look up my own address when I was mailing my stuff home from over there.  So I'm a bit of a stranger in my own home - I have to open all the cupboards, for example, to remember where I keep my plates and glasses and such.  The flip side of that is that it's Hanukkah again: everywhere I look there's another gift, something I forgot I owned.

A few first impressions from being back in civilization:

• The roads are so smooth - like glass.  Can't get over that.  Between the roads and the suspension on my car (or any car that isn't a 1994 Toyota Hilux with 200,000 miles) it feels like I'm flying an inch above the road.
• There is so much green.  The vista (any vista) seems so much more vibrant.  Did you know that the Afghans have 100 different words for "drab?" 
• We are so rich.  I mean we all know this on some intellectual level.  But I feel like I'm just drenched in luxury and comfort.  Like I'm eating a 10 course meal prepared by the finest chef in the world and served in the most decadent dining room with chandeliers and crystal glasses and solid gold silverware (goldware?) with ivory handles and silk napkins.  
• I seem to have only one criterion for finding a woman attractive: she's not wearing a uniform.
• I hate jet lag.

For months now, I've had a list of a few things I wanted to do as soon as possible once I got back.  One was to get in my car, turn the volume all the way up and floor it down the highway.  Now as I've said before, I'm fortunate to have found a very good car, and my very good car has a very good stereo.  I wanted to make sure the first song I played would take advantage of that, but I hadn't figured out what it should be (so many great songs to choose from!) so I abdicated the responsibility of consciousness and let shuffle pick for me.  It did not disappoint, with Seether's "Walk Away from the Sun."  Perfect selection.  The double sub-woofers thumped, the mids churned, the highs pierced, my engine screamed, the whole damn thing just caught up to me at once and I let out this visceral roar at the top of my lungs.  I know it sounds stupid but it felt great - like I was alive and breathing fresh air for the first time in a year.

Then I hit 55 mph, which after a year of 15 mph speed limits on base felt suicidally fast, and I had to slow down.  Baby steps.

I'm hoping to put up a really long post here soon on some of my thoughts looking back on the last year...but right now it's time to take another hot shower.  So I'll leave you with some pics:

Miramar

Me

Band

Are you sure you didn't forget something in Afghanistan? 
Maybe you should go back and check.

Home

Faceplant

USA

Getting closer...now at Bangor, Maine.  America.  Just saying.

En route

Only have a minute, plus I really hate pecking on my iPod Touch. But I wanted to let my legions of fans (hi mom!) know that all's well and I am out of Afghanistan. After a delightful stay in Manas, Kyrgyzstan ("The New Jersey of the East"), we're currently on layover in Germany. ATTENTION local Islamist gunmen: come and get us, you shitbags.

Sorry, where was I?

Oh yeah, Germany. We're about 77 hours into our journey home, counting from when we said goodbye to our Afghani-cans and boarded the busses to the flight line. More on that will have to wait till I have more time, and more keyboard.

Wrapping up

Last Sunday, my replacement made it in after several agonizing (for me) delays, and on Monday we began doing turnover.  That was a day I've been looking forward to for a long time.

Doing turnover, I realized two things.  First, we actually got some good things done out here.  You can lose sight of it in the daily grind but turnover makes you look at where you started and where you are now, and we'll definitely leave the place better and more secure than we found it.  So that's something.

Second and related, I realized I was very fortunate to have the opportunity to build an AT/FP program from almost nothing.  It was definitely a beast, especially the first few months, but it gave us the chance to design things the way we thought they should be.  That was a good experience, and a rewarding one.

That said, I'm pretty stoked to be turning the whole damn thing over to my replacement.  The last few days I've been showing him around, answering a lot of questions, etc.  Then late last night after I'd wrapped up the last few things I had to do, I drove down to the flight line, parked the truck and smoked a cigar I'd bought for just this purpose when I first got on deck.  I'd been tempted to smoke that stogie many times - and eat the bar of white chocolate Toblerone I'd also bought the day Gunny D and I discovered the Shangri-La of the Danish PX - but I'd held off until I was truly done.  It was nice to relax and reflect a little with the outbound rotors and inbound heavies providing the background noise.

(I know what you're thinking - white chocolate with a cigar?  That's what I thought - they'd kind of ruin each other - but they actually went GREAT together.  Each one brought out the flavor of the other.  Try it some time if you don't believe me.)

Anyway, now we've just got one timeless Marine Corps tradition left - the Hurry Up and Wait.  Some time soon (a few hours? a few days?) we'll say goodbye to Afghanistan and before the week is out I should be back home.  In the timeless words of the Beastie Boys: it'sabouttimeit'sabouttimeit'sabouttimeit'saboutti-ime.

Best memories from deployment:

• Working with the SRT – I’ve written about this previously.  Those Marines and our compound security Marines exceeded my expectations, and everyone who worked with them commented on their professionalism, their seeming inability to get complacent, and the high standard they set for the rest of the base.  BZ to them.
   
• Going out on patrol.  Sure, it was just a few clicks outside the wire but it was great to meet some locals, have some tea, talk to them and see how they live.  These last two informed my opinion of the war, the country and the future more than all the reading and studying I ever did. 
   
• Flying around the AO.  Flying anywhere on helos is fun.  Seeing the AO (area of operations) from the air was memorable, as was spending time on the deck at some of the smaller FOBs.  Wish I could have done more of this.
   
• Spending time in the DASC.  It’s not the most glamorous MOS but you have a complete, real-time view of the war: every TIC (troops in contact), every casevac, every call for fire, every everything.  And of course you’re not just an observer; you’re the one getting the medevac bird to the patient or diverting aircraft to support an immediate air request.  Also, the nature of the job scratches a certain itch for me.  If you’re familiar with the traveling salesman problem, the DASC is kind of like that, only in 3D, at 300 knots and with real bombs and bullets.  There’s a certain pressure in there that focuses your mind, and I like that.
   
• Softball on gravel. 
   
• Vacations at KAF
   
• Lighting Hanukkah candles with my fellow MOTs.  You may think the IDF is the spiritual descendant of the Macabees, but as far as I’m concerned it’s the Jewish warriors of the Marine Corps.

Things I’ll miss about Afghanistan:

•  

Well I think that covers it.  Next post: Manas.  Yeah baby!

Making friends

Winning hearts and minds

Life after Leatherneck

Some time in the next week (or so) my replacement will arrive.  Some time within a week (or so) after that, I will leave.  A few days later I'll be home.  Could time be moving any slower right now.

But after I get home, and after the 96, the transition week, the check-out/check-in process and so on, I'll head out for my long awaited 30 days of post-deployment leave.  I'm going on a road trip.  Let me explain.

When I was a kid, we went on lots of road trips as a family.  Despite this, I love jumping in my car - alone or with company - and escaping the suffocating tangle of city/coastal traffic for the open road where I can crank up the stereo, soak in the amazing scenery and feel the wind on my highly aerodynamic scalp.

Also I grew up all over as many of you know, and between that and other experiences I've got friends stashed in just about every part of the country.  So this will be a chance to catch up with them (you) as I city-hop.  Clear your calendar, and lock up your valuables. 

Places where I'll be stopping along the way:

• Grand Junction, CO - just a pit stop.  Don't think I know anyone who lives around here.  Still, the drive through the Rockies should be stunning.
• Lincoln, NE - where I lived as a kid.  Gonna try to track down some old friends, and of course visit the old neighborhood.  I'll probably swing through Omaha on my way out.
• Cleveland, OH - another pit stop, I think.  Anyone I know live there?
• Conway, NH - visiting pappy, celebrating Passover.
• NYC/NJ - visiting family and friends and writing a love note to Gov Christie
• DC - nuff said.  I think I'm gonna put together a BBQ dinner one night somewhere, probably Saturday, April 30th so save the date.  Dinner will be followed by merriment.
• Atlanta - by this point in the trip I should be with my two brothers if everything works out.  Brother 1 lived in Atl so this is mainly for him, however NB I want to see you (for reals this time) and finally meet little P.
• Montgomery and Mobile, AL - family-in-law, friends (if any even still live here) and hopefully some deep sea fishing.  I haven't spoken to GH and fam about this but if you're reading this - hey!  Let's go fishing.  HHM I don't think you waste your time on this blog but if you do - I'll call you and we'll figure something out.  Maybe I'll drive through B'ham.
• Then it's cross country to Sedona, AZ - possibly the most beautiful town I've ever seen.  I spent a day at the Grand Canyon when I moved out west from Quantico, but this time I plan to hike down, camp out on the CO river and hike back up the next day.  Brother 1, bring your inhaler.

After that, it's back to Oceanside, CA.  That's the current plan anyway.  PT, I had to cut the Yellowstone piece - not enough time.  But on my next trip I'm going there and hopefully you'll be able to join me.  I'll obviously see you in NYC though.

So anyway, that's the immediate post-Afghanistan plan.  A few of you have asked me what comes next for me, big picture.  The answer, as always in the Marine Corps, is whothehellknows.  But I'll give you my best guess...

I'll obviously report back to my unit, MASS-3, where I've been officially stationed for 2 years this July, but where I've so far spent probably 3 or 4 weeks total, not counting OJT.  So I'll be due for some quality time in my MOS, which is to say doing some exercises and drills and spending lots of time in some auxiliary billet. 

Beyond that, I'm already looking forward to the next thing.  In other words, while training and the like are important, and while I'll certainly enjoy some garrison time after this last year, I didn't join the Marine Corps to sit behind a desk in Southern California.  I joined to sit behind a desk in Afghanistan.  I joined to do the kinds of things you can't do as a civilian.  If I had my pick, I think I'd like to go on a MEU - a 6-7 month float preceded by an up to 6-month pre-float workup.  You get to visit various ports, conduct exercises with allied nations, possibly respond to world crises or, as the 26th MEU is currently doing, deploy to augment OEF in Afghanistan, etc.  While you're on ship, there's a good deal of boredom but it's also a great opportunity to PT, get ahead in your professional military education (PME) and best of all get to know the Marines in your charge and the other Marines and sailors around you. 

Well I think that covers it.  Whether you read this on FB or my blog, if you live in or near a city on the great Morgapalooza 2011 tour, I expect some quality face time.  Tickets are selling fast.

 

My sweet ride

Clever Title

Just checking in really to let you know everything's still well and post some pics from the last week or so.

We got some rain.  In total about 0.6 inches.  But the ground is so hard here (they call it clay but it's as hard as concrete) that it apparently doesn't absorb much water.  And don't ask me why, but the rain STINKS around here.  I mean really smells. Like poop.

flush flood

I'm still in the DASC - working mornings now, so my days start around 0430 and go till at least 1900.  But I've been so pampered out here, I'm kind of enjoying the challenge and the modest sleep deprivation.  My only wish is that there were no civilian air traffic out here - mostly it consists of old Soviet-era birds flown by drunk Russian octegenarians.  Between their English-speaking skills, slurred speech and decrepit radios our RIOs (radio in/out) alternate between the futile and the comical.

The coldest of the winter is behind us, as I might have already mentioned.  Right now I'm sitting in the sun in I'd guess the high 50's or low 60's.  Feels great.  When I get back, after my long shower and two-day nap I'm going to go to the beach and soak in the sun until I can actually feel the melanoma set in.  Less than three weeks now, and I'm giddier than a school girl with Justin Bieber backstage passes. 

Behind the wire...behind me in 3 weeks.

Oh I almost forgot: shout out to Mr. McL's history class in Maine.  I heard you're being forced to read some of these posts.  If that's true, I'm really sorry.  I'll try to make them shorter.